NURSE: to take special care of, especially to promote development or well being. Synonyms: encourage, nurture, help, protect, safeguard.
HEALER: one who heals; to restore to health
I am a nurse and deep down I’ve always been a healer…that’s why I felt called into nursing in the first place. I have worked in bedside care for 9 years, 4 of those as a Patient Care Technician and the other 5 as an RN. After graduating in 2010 with my Bachelor’s in Nursing (BSN, yes there’s an acronym for just about everything in the medical world) I started working in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) at a local hospital. I then moved to the medical/surgical/trauma PICU at a children’s hospital for the remainder of my nursing years as well as taught nursing students as a clinical adjunct for a university. This definitely qualified me as a nurse, but as far as my understanding of health and healing? Well that was a different story…
In 2014 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl…outside of the hospital. I received quite a bit of backlash from colleagues for this choice, but I had a deep knowing that this was the birth path I needed to take. I birthed at a freestanding birth center with no IV, no drugs, and minimal intervention. I birthed more then just my daughter that day, I birthed myself. I realized the power that lives within me and in ALL women. Despite having physically birthed, all women posses the power to grow, nurture, and bring life into this world.
After maternity leave, I went back to bedside nursing. It was extremely difficult for me. Birth was a profound experience which lead me to realize the immense capabilities of the human body apart from all of my medical knowledge. I had a new awareness of what HEALTH actually meant. I had a physical body as well as an emotional and spiritual one, all of which were interconnected and needed equal care. This caused me to feel ethically torn and emotionally burnt out working in the ICU and I decided to step out of the nursing field.
As I transitioned away from nursing, I became painfully aware of the self deprecating lifestyle I had developed. I had become an expert in care-taking anyone and everyone…except for me. I was physically depleted, mentally strained, and spiritually disconnected. When we don’t give life to ourselves FIRST, things can get really unbalanced. We become burnt out, resentful, self pitiful, and poor caregivers. I was one of those. I resentfully filled everyone’s plate but mine and then victimized myself when I sat down to eat and found nothing there; no food, no nourishment, just an empty plate.
Over the past few years I have been learning, slow as it may be, to fill my plate, strap on my own oxygen mask, and nurse myself first. This self care and healing journey has been beautiful and challenging, joyful and painful. Motherhood has taught me more then I could ever imagine and this is just the beginning. It is the ultimate work, and I believe it is the most important thing I will EVER do in this life! Last year I started to feel an itch that I needed to start offering what I have been learning and experiencing back to the world. I had a deep desire to get back into the healing and health world, so I signed up for a Level 1 Reiki class. I continued with level 2 and am now a Reiki practitioner. Reiki has given me the understanding of the connection I always felt was missing in regards to healthcare. Our bodies are interconnected by this life force energy given to us by God or a Higher Power who is The Healer. We are ONE system, making health a holistic and sacred experience, and making the role of the healer one of the conduit. Please see my Offerings page for information about what I offer, and please see my Connect page to inquire about working with me.