Your table, do you have one? Who sits there and who doesn’t? Who does it feed? What messages does it send? When is it available? Who tends to it, sets it, clears it, cleans it? What is it made of? What is being served there?
As women we collectively seem to gather somewhere in or around the kitchen table. This is where we connect most often; over lunch, a coffee, a wine night, dinner. The table is a place of community, but for many of us can also be a place of isolation, limitation, scarcity, judgement, fear, resentfulness, and pain.
What we feed ourselves when we come to the table, and whether we even make it to the table in the first place matters!
For years food lived within a mental system of “good vs. bad”. I learned how to shame myself when I ate “bad” food and make up for it with the “good” food. At age 17 I started struggling with a myriad of digestive health issues. I underwent testing but nothing GI related was uncovered. Shortly after, I went off to college, ate fast food the entire first year, and gained the freshman 15. This coupled with the digestive issues sent me into a panic. I felt out of control so I started controlling my eating. My weight dropped to an unhealthy level and the food shame structure is where I lived.
My awakening started with my first pregnancy. Something biologically shifted in me as my body started growing life inside my womb. My weight balanced out and food seemed to be less of a focal point, but I still had no idea what it meant to actually nourish.
NOURISH – provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition. Synonyms: feed, provide for, sustain, maintain, cherish, nurture, foster, nurse, hold, have
I was giving my body what it needed for physiological well being now, but why did it feel so mechanical? Why did I still feel malnourished? I was still neglecting my mental and emotional health. I didn’t know how to cherish, nurse, or hold myself with love. I was the perpetual server at my table, getting paid less than minimum wage and inhaling my sustenance on lunch break just to get what I needed to keep going.
So what has shifted? Well to be honest, this isn’t a testimonial about the 5 step plan that worked to fix me. This is a journey…one that I am still presently on and will always be on. For the whole year of 2018 I worked with a spiritual life coach. She empowered me to embark on the path back to myself and helped me identify coping mechanisms and behaviors that weren’t serving me. In January of 2019 I started Reiki sessions with an amazingly intuitive Reiki Master Teacher, who then trained me in Level 1 and Level 2 Reiki. Concurrently with Reiki, I was unearthing and identifying conflicts and generational patterns I carried in my body through regular appointments with an energy healer who specialized in Biomagnetism. Then in April, I went on a 5 day retreat with 14 other women put on by another amazing healer who I am still currently working with. Basically… I have been dedicating time and resources to my own healing and showing up for myself, which is something I have never done before. I am so grateful that other women have paved the path before me, thus the tag line of Healed Women Heal the World because it is so true! Just like these women created a space of gentleness and grace for healing, I want to pass that on to others. Please see my Offerings page for information about what I offer, and please see my Connect page to inquire about working with me.
Below are links to each of the healers mentioned above